Mike Williams

-*From The How Did We Get Here Series*-

**Now**: Bobby Jones pressed on the key fob that some hysterical lady just gave to him while running from a man who was in the process of yelling at her. Bobby had never quite heard all of the expletives used but he thought the man was quite creative with their use. The lights flashed on what looked like a brand new Jaguar. It seems Bobby’s luck had just changed for the better.

**Before**: It was on the 5th level of the Glendale parking garage that Maggie Reynolds decided that Herb Reynolds could go “fuck himself.” They had been married for 10 years and the asshole always seemed to care about his possessions more than he cared about her. She eyed a man standing next to a broken down Subaru and started walking towards him. Her husband began shouting some of the worst obscenities she had heard in years. She was far enough ahead that the quick transfer of the key fob of their car to the stranger and a brief “It’s yours” was all that was needed to complete this life lesson for Herb.

She continued walking towards the elevator with her husband trailing behind when they heard the unmistakable beeps of the car’s key fob communication. The look on her husband’s face was all that she really needed to see that day. It was wonderful. Fuck that prick.

-*From The How Did We Get Here Series*-

**Now**: Today would be the day that Kevin Duncan would earn a new nickname. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be earned for something he actually had done. He would earn the nickname for something the girls in the lunchroom thought he did. Middle school kids didn’t care about the facts of the incident before them. They saw a young man with a big brown stain where you might expect such a stain if one were to crap their pants. Kevin backed into a square support pole in the lunchroom and when he stood upright, the girls sitting next to the pole began to scream when they saw a brown stain on the pole and on the ass of one Kevin Duncan.

**Before**: Kevin Duncan wasn’t allowed to touch the remaining Hershey Bars that were in the fridge. He never let that stop him. He’d blame the loss on his drunk step father and his mother would probably shake her head and yell at him for something he didn’t even do. Kevin was in a pretty good spot. With both bars in his right hand, he began to walk out off the house when his mother stopped him the in the hallway. With only seconds to spare, he slipped the chocolate bars into his back pockets.