Mike Williams

Bullshit

CleanShot 2021 07 27 at 04 22 50 2x

This is click bait and the advertiser can go fuck themselves. This is basically saying that they have a list of restaurant chains that will be closing and use an image of a chain that isn’t.

You think it is on the list and click the link.

No, not illegal. It should be.

Is it wrong to hope that aliens will swoop in and anally rape the person that came up with the idea?

Touch ID under Duress

A feature that I would like to see on Apple’s Touch ID devices is what I call a “duress” mode.

Let’s say someone is mugging you and demanding that you unlock your device. What if you assigned a specific finger to something called duress mode that does things behind the scenes while appearing to unlock the device.

You could even have a flash “store front” of apps that load up if you use this particular finger. None of them really do anything and your data is still protected. It may even add an extra layer of security that is required to unlock it by Apple. Once your device is put in duress mode, only authorized people could unlock it. By unlock it, I mean get it back to a state where your normal fingerprint would unlock the device. Apple couldn’t directly unlock it.

By using this finger, you have also alerted family, friends, and anyone else you designate that you are in some sort of duress. These messages could include your GPS location etc.

I think in the future, this type of functionality will be necessary. It might even save lives.

Picture from here.

HDWGH – Story 42 – Parking Garage Antics

-*From The How Did We Get Here Series*-

**Now**: Bobby Jones pressed on the key fob that some hysterical lady just gave to him while running from a man who was in the process of yelling at her. Bobby had never quite heard all of the expletives used but he thought the man was quite creative with their use. The lights flashed on what looked like a brand new Jaguar. It seems Bobby’s luck had just changed for the better.

**Before**: It was on the 5th level of the Glendale parking garage that Maggie Reynolds decided that Herb Reynolds could go “fuck himself.” They had been married for 10 years and the asshole always seemed to care about his possessions more than he cared about her. She eyed a man standing next to a broken down Subaru and started walking towards him. Her husband began shouting some of the worst obscenities she had heard in years. She was far enough ahead that the quick transfer of the key fob of their car to the stranger and a brief “It’s yours” was all that was needed to complete this life lesson for Herb.

She continued walking towards the elevator with her husband trailing behind when they heard the unmistakable beeps of the car’s key fob communication. The look on her husband’s face was all that she really needed to see that day. It was wonderful. Fuck that prick.

HDWGH – Story 41 – Mistaken Chocolate

-*From The How Did We Get Here Series*-

**Now**: Today would be the day that Kevin Duncan would earn a new nickname. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be earned for something he actually had done. He would earn the nickname for something the girls in the lunchroom thought he did. Middle school kids didn’t care about the facts of the incident before them. They saw a young man with a big brown stain where you might expect such a stain if one were to crap their pants. Kevin backed into a square support pole in the lunchroom and when he stood upright, the girls sitting next to the pole began to scream when they saw a brown stain on the pole and on the ass of one Kevin Duncan.

**Before**: Kevin Duncan wasn’t allowed to touch the remaining Hershey Bars that were in the fridge. He never let that stop him. He’d blame the loss on his drunk step father and his mother would probably shake her head and yell at him for something he didn’t even do. Kevin was in a pretty good spot. With both bars in his right hand, he began to walk out off the house when his mother stopped him the in the hallway. With only seconds to spare, he slipped the chocolate bars into his back pockets.