Mike Williams

HDWGH – Story 16 – Substandard Gravy

HDWGH – Story 16

From The How Did We Get Here Series

Now: Pete Giovanni is face down in his salad plate in front of him. At this point, we’re not sure if Pete is dead or just napping.

Before: Sarah Giovanni spend most of the afternoon preparing one of the family’s favorite meals. One of the last parts of this culinary masterpiece was the beloved gravy. However, when Sarah went to grab a jar she realized she didn’t have any more.

Without another thought she grabbed her face mask, grabbed her coat, and grabbed her car keys and hurried down to the local store. Much to her horror, they were out of the exact brand of gravy that her family enjoyed. Sarah gave it some thought and decided that rather than ruin the entire meal she’d make a substitution. The day was officially saved.

Later that evening, the family sat around the dinner table. After the tradition of saying “Grace” Pete looked at the delight in front of him. He picked up his fork, picked up a rather large portion, and gingerly placed it in his mouth. It didn’t take long for his look of pure joy to turn into absolute horror.

“What is this?” He yelled at Sarah.

“I had to substitute the gravy sweetheart, we ran out and the store didn’t have the brand we like.”

“I can’t eat this. This is disgusting!” Pete exclaimed.

With a tear forming in her eye, Sarah told Pete she was sorry and picked up his plate and took it into the kitchen.

The children heard Sarah walking back from the kitchen. Then, the children heard the sound like the chime of a deep church bell and then Pete doing a face plant into the salad plate in front of him.

Sarah was standing behind him with one her favorite frying pans.

I guess you could say that Sarah didn’t appreciate the feedback.

The children promptly ate their meal smiling as they did so.

Aliens: Come and Get It!

This is my #1 reason why I think aliens will have an easy time of conquering our planet should the need arise.

A vast majority of the human race whole heartedly believes (sights unseen) in completely made up and imaginary things. That makes them gullible as a species and deserving of eradication. Humans are simply too stupid to exist in the grander universe at large.

The #2 reason is that the human monkeys kill each other. It is difficult to say which should be #1 and which should be #2. They are both just as bad.

People say that we should focus on the good things about humanity. To me, that is like asking the same thing when talking about a serial killer. For example “sure, he killed 15 people but he donated to charities.”

As I was searching for a picture for this post, I found this…

In conclusion, aliens should invade and conquer us at their earliest convenience or at the very least, hurl a huge asteroid our way.

Thank you in advance.

What Today Feels Like

Today feels like…

…we’ve been chased around the neighborhood by a bully who has a large super soaker. He is shooting everyone he finds.

Everyone is wet and no one is happy.

Then, one morning the old man down the street sticks out his leg as the bully runs by. The bully trips and falls and breaks both legs.

In fact, the bully becomes paralyzed. He can no longer run around terrorizing anyone.

Everybody is relieved that they will no longer be soaked by the bully.

The old man is a hero.

The inauguration today. It’s like that.

Deleted Police Records in the UK

This story is both interesting and frightening at the same time.

Britain’s policing minister said Monday that “human error” led to hundreds of thousands of DNA records and other data on criminal suspects being erased from the national police computer.

Oops.

Kit Malthouse told lawmakers in the House of Commons that the mishap occurred during a “regular housekeeping process” on the computer, which holds 13 million records. He said some 400,000 records were wiped, including 213,000 offense records and 170,000 arrest records.

Wonder Woman 1984

I am not watching Wonder Woman 1984.

It’s not that I don’t like the franchise. I think Gal Gadot is perfect for the role. I loved the first movie.

I’m not watching Wonder Woman because I can NOT BUY Wonder Woman. I don’t give a fuck about HBO Max and I’m not signing up just so I can watch one fucking movie. It is fucking ridiculous.

I was completely shocked that for the first time in a very long time, I couldn’t just BUY a movie.

Fuck you Hollywood. If that is the business model you want to go with good luck with that.

I will always gladly either watch or rent a movie but I sure as fuck won’t be made to use a service that I wouldn’t otherwise piss on just to watch a goddamn movie.

Warner Media can eat a bag of dicks for all I give a fuck. They completely ruined the experience for me.

You want to vindicate yourself?

Let people buy it. You fucksticks.

I’m not bitter. Just have a strong opinion on this one folks.

Thoughts on M1 MBP So Far

It has been a full day with the new laptop and I have to say that I’ve been doing almost everything with it.

I had to install a crap ton of things and I have been doing all of that (including an operating system update to put this machine on the beta version of Big Sur) with the laptop only being charged up when I first got it.

I haven’t plugged it in at all and I still have a 55% charge even though I’ve been writing on it all day long.

My journal is one of the longest I’ve ever written, I wrote over 500 words for the latest short story, and tons of other things including this blog post.

The battery is amazing. I can’t see what I can get out of this thing.

M1 MacBook Pro 13″

I am happy to report that I just got my new MacBook Pro. I’ve been waiting for about a month as Apple had a backlog.

So far, I love this thing. My previous MacBook was a 15″ and I actually wanted the smaller version. It has all of the same things and the keyboard is tons better.

I’m not going to review it. Tons of people out there already have and would go into way more details than I would.

Mapping The Universe

This story caught my attention for a very specific reason.

Arrogance.

We haven’t seen nor are we able to see anything beyond a mere fraction of the universe. For someone to think that they can “map the universe” is probably one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard.

The scientist clearly has no idea of scope. This is the same situation as “you don’t know what you don’t know.”

We literally have no idea how big the universe actually is because we are severely limited by our ability to view everything from this spinning ball we all inhabit.

You can’t map something you can’t see.

I’m not even sure we can map our own galaxy very accurately. I’m sure mis-applying Einstein’s theory of relativity doesn’t help matters either.

It would be interesting to get a chance to see where we are scientifically 1000 years from now. If we survive as a species that is.

I think the odds are against us. As long as we keep killing each other aliens will probably stay away and we’ll just end up killing ourselves off.

We’re probably not the first civilization that did it and I’m sure we won’t be the last.

Earth to reach temperature tipping point in next 20 to 30 years

Good article about something that hasn’t happened yet and may not happen. Written as a doom and gloom document, I don’t think there is any doubt about what this article says. I believe it.

Unfortunately, unless we address the population issues there is nothing we can do about any of this. You can’t have it both ways. You cannot keep increasing the population and stop the environmental impact too.

This article gets it right in that it presents the problem. I would also like to see articles like this propose a realistic solution.