HDWGH – Story 30 – Raven Thief
–From The How Did We Get Here Series–
Now: Matt Hagen used a kitchen towel to stop the small flow of blood from his mouth. The injury was from Matt’s wife Heather who had possibly just heard the weirdest excuse her husband had ever given her for not completing an assigned task. She reacted to the story by simply punching him in the face. After the last lie he told, what could she do?
Before: Matt Hagen had been given the stupid task of grocery shopping at Costco by his wife Heather who couldn’t be bothered on this gloomy spring day. He hated grocery shopping. His wife was almost militant about the way he was supposed to buy groceries, what to buy, and most certainly what not to buy. He gave in to her demands because of a small lie he had told recently. He didn’t know how many errands he would have to run before she’d forgive him.
He went golfing with his friends last weekend instead of attending a wedding with his wife. He told his wife that he had to work on Saturday and couldn’t get out of it. He would have gotten away with it but his friend Jeff wasn’t very bright and forgot that he wasn’t supposed to say anything. He did. Heather Hagan turned into another woman after that. Not very kind to Matt, at all.
As Matt was finishing the loading of the groceries, a large fat Raven swooped down, ripped open the pack of steaks he had just bought, and flew off with both of them. This was Alaska. Weird shit happened here. The right thing to do would have been to go back into the store and see about getting his money back. That was a hassle.
He was fairly certain that when he told his wife what had happened, she would understand.
Pool Area Project
My illustrious pool project for 2021 is almost completed.
The first year I used an inflatable pool that costs a whopping $10-20 dollars.
I bought more expensive inflatables since then but for the last couple of years I have gravitated back to that original $10 design. It just works.
This year I have added a beach area, tiki candles, and fencing. It was pretty expensive but I think that the privacy of being able to lay out in the yard without all of the cars driving by disturbing me will be worth it.
We’ll see.
Random Apple Things
I ordered AirTags on Friday and literally sat on the refresh key until the Apple store came back online so I could get my order in. It is ridiculous. I own that.
There was a pretty good article that John Gruber linked to about how Apple’s M1 chip strategy is more about unity than trying to sell several variations of the same chip. The $699 computer has the same processor as the $1699 machine. I think that shows how strange it is that Intel thinks they need to have several versions of a CPU.
If they turn around and put the M1 into an iPhone, then we’re talking serious M1 strategy.
Low Temperatures
The low temperature listed for any given day is actually the low temperature of the next morning.
For example, the low temperature listed for Sunday is 48 degrees F. That is actually the low temperature for Monday morning.
It took me 15 years of biking to figure that out. It is important that I know what the actual low temperature is going to be because I have to dress accordingly.
I had the revelation a few years ago.
HDWGH – Story 29 – Remote Dud
–From The How Did We Get Here Series–
Now: Brian Kirby did not expect this! He pressed the detonator and should have heard a very loud boom. Instead, he was surrounded by a bunch of flashing red and blue lights and a big (some might say) oversized police officer yelling at him to raise his hands. This was certainly not the way he thought this day would go.
Before: Rachel Phillips loved her boyfriend. She loved him in spite of the fact that he never really talked about his “job.” He would always come home talking with such vagueness, that some of his tales could be applied equally across donut shop owner, car mechanic, and opera singer. Tonight, he had finally opened up to her about what he did for a living. Not only was she horrified to find out that Brian was a well known and well paid hitman but that his next target was a friend of Rachel’s from college. She worked really hard to hide to horror she was feeling.
She had to do something. Under the guise of walking her dog, she left her tiny Brooklyn apartment and headed down India Street. This explained everything to her. The apartment over looking the East River waterfront in a new development seemed way too much for someone Brian’s age to afford. She called the police and told them everything she knew including how he had planned to kill Rachel’s friend.
Rachel kissed Brian goodbye that evening and sat on her bed. She would just sit here until the call came in from the police.
Then, she would pack up her belongings and leave. Well, she continued thinking about her situation, it was the beginning of the month and this apartment cost over $5000 a month. Perhaps, she would leave at the end of the month. Fuck Brian. Fuck Brian in his hitman who wants to kill my college friend’s face.
